Thursday, February 6, 2014

this was not my day

at 12:00 AM 0 comments
Well. Today was different. Guess my blog got lucky because my life literally started to fall apart at the seams today. So I shall bring you some much unexpected drama, and breath some life into the blog with moderately good advice with how to deal with crap days. 
So, first thing first, let me push my god awful day at you. Basically, I learned I'm going to have to pay a shit ton of money to fix my teeth. Even better, the thought of all that money literally started making me cry in the office, but fortunately I was able to hold in my panic attack until I started driving home. Then my significant other decided to drop the bomb, over text mind you, that they felt things weren't really working out between us and if we don't change our pattern, we won't work out. Those two significant things plus a bunch of other crap all put together cause me to snap and I've been a blubbering mess all day. Sometimes things just really hit ya hard, ya know? I don't have it as hard as most people, but going broke over bad teeth is not my idea of good life, and the prospect of facing the future totally alone is also terrifying. Plus panic attacks only make me feel shittier.


No matter, I'll work it out. I usually do, and I've made it this far and all I can do is go up. I've hit rock bottom, and days like today are only stumbling blocks as I move forward. I mean, we all feel pretty worthless sometimes, right? Or helpless or pathetic, both of which seriously suck. But, more importantly, you got to recognize those feelings and just let yourself know that that moment of hard feelings doesn't define you. 
Bad days are never just one bad thing usually. There's always one shit thing that starts your day off, and nothing else really goes well. And to make it worse some other shit thing happens that day. It doesn't really have to be the most horrible thing, but it's something that just pushes you off the edge. That's the basic formula for a truly terrible fucking day. And once you got a terrible day over your head, there's not much you can do but mope. It's hard to be happy when you, say, fail a test and the find out someone keyed your car in the parking lot. It's just a wreck. I find the best way to deal with shit days is just to let them be.
Listen to sad music, cry when no ones looking, hug your pillow pet, question reality. Let the sadness get to you, but don't let it rule you. Some days you just gotta feel low so the next day you can feel high as a kite. The happiness won't come back right away, but once you pass what I call the "roll around in your own tears" phase is when things start to go back up hill.  Once you start to feel less like a pile of rejected iPhones, turn off your sad music, put away the sweets and go do something. Whether its a store run for more healthy snack or jog around the block, just get out of your comfort zone a little. Let the world bring you back to earth, get moving and let the endorphins get back in your blood stream. Literally just standing up and walking around a bit will help clear your head and make you feel better pretty quickly. Surprising I know, who thought physical activity of any sort would make you feel better. The human body is weird.
Now the last thing I do to get out of my bad day rut, is take a motherfuckin bubble bath. Its my comfort zone, and being surrounded in steamy water helps clear my head and relaxes me. And I usually watch my comfort show while I soak in the over-heated water, Community. It always makes me smile when I feel like poop. Now, your "comfort zone" is probably different then mine, but this is my recommendation, it works wonders for me. Maybe you like to watch your favorite movie and sit in a burrito blanket while doodling nsfw doodles of your current OTP, I dunno. But whatever floats your boat to a happy place is usually what brightens the day a little. Now, you're not going to be cured of your sadness, you're gonna think the day still totally sucked, sorry its true. The key is to just not go to sleep resentful. That extends the shittiness of the day, trust me I know and you probably know too. Try going to sleep with a least faint smile on your cute lil face. Even if you don't wan to, faking it until you make it is a magical thing.

NOW enough of the moderately pathetic shitty day survival guide. I'm gonna go take my comfort zone bath and watch the new season of Community some more. I wrote out my feelings, and feeling better already. Hope it might of helped you out a little too. Radical. Peace Out.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

this is what we do

at 12:00 PM 0 comments
So I believe I owe you as a reader an explication. What the frick frack diddly dack patty wack snick snack crack pack slack mack quarterback crackerjack biofeedback backtrack thumbtack sidetrack tic-tac is this blog about? WELL, I don't really know. But here is a list of what I guess is going to go down, it'll probs narrow down as we go on.

 - Fashion type blog. I dress hella nice and my face is not ugly so I will teach you my ways my children. And I'll try to help with any of your questions.
 - Travel-ish blog. Whenever I go places I'm gonna blog the hell out of it. I love traveling so this will happen often aka whenever I can afford it.
 - Writer's block crusher. I'm writing a fucking novel. Writer's block seriously hits me sometimes so I will come here to write some sort of except to slice that block in bloody half.
 - Single life blog. I moved out completely unprepared, and as a total noob at being an adult, I am here to tell you what not to do. I have the magical skill of learning everything the hard way, and you think I'm exaggerating, but seriously I fuck up all the things. Learn from my miserable failures.
 - Other help blog. You have problem? Me fix with funny. Probably no help in end. BAM.

This is what my blog shall be and it shall be awesome. I hope. Probably not, it's gonna be a huge mess. Lets have fun with it. Radical.
Peace Out.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

This is Me

at 1:36 AM 0 comments
So. Hey, whats up. Nothing? Ok, thats cool. Thats why you're here? Even better. Lets hunker down and do this.
So I totally read my first post I put on this blog FOUR YEARS AGO thats pretty crazy and I am crazy embarrassed. I was the most fantastic freshman, also I was a totally dweeb thank God I'm the only one reading this blog. NO MATTER. Whats that you say? You don't even care about that? You just wanna know what is this blog about? Who am I? I will answer one of those questions now.

I am Laura Blake. I used to go by the pseudonym Razuberri, and still kind of do on my tumblr and deviantart. But I've branched out so thus I go by my name now on most sites like Twitter, YouTube, and ta-da Blogspot too now. I also went by the pseudonym Oliver for a while and I almost want to go back that I realized what an adorable nickname it is, so if you call me Blake or Oliver I will love you. I have a weird thing for girls with boy names, I don't know where this came from.
A super general about me, I love film and thats what I really want to do with my life, write and make movies. I also adore writing, fingers crossed I can become a published author one day but for now my friends are my fans. Maybe I'll post fan art people draw? Yes. I also kind of dream of moving to Japan or New York or anywhere besides where I live now. I feel like most people feel this feel.

So, lets go in depth. My history? I grew up in Texas. I tried to start a blog in high school, you can see how well that went. I skipped out on college and took a gap year, also not going so hot. I moved to Orlando, Florida to live near a few friends I made in a pre-college program. A pre-college program at Ringling College of Art + Design, that was really fun. Now, I'm not having so much fun because I do spend a lot of time in front of my computer not doing much. But the plan is to do more. I live in Orlando so I must work at Disney right!? No, they wouldn't hire me, I have to many freckles to be a Princess....
Personality flaws and pluses? I have and have always had fairly serious anxiety. I have trouble existing in large groups and don't even get me started on airports, I literally break down every time I'm in one. Aka, I am the worst at dealing with stress and people. Getting that out of the way, I think I have some pretty great personality pluses. I'm usually a kind soul, but when I'm an asshole it's hilarious because I am very bad at being mean. So chances are I'll be nice to you because I'm awful at being a jerk. So that's great right? Sure. I make up for being a generally ok person in horrible grammar and a vocabulary similar to that of sailor.
Hobbies? Watching terrible horror movies on Netflix. Doodling my characters. Writing ahead of my timeline in my novel. Horseback riding. Yoga. Watching large amounts of American and Japanese cartoons. Learning French and Japanese. Photography. My hundreds of Fandoms. Cute animals. Fun stuff I know.
Work, I do it? Yes, I do. I sale people things they don't need and I drive around to do it, and its not my favorite but it pays me so I can roll with it. I also work as a sometime Nanny and pet sitter. Its my goal is to switch my job to working with horses at a barn thats fairly close my house. And blog, it'd be cool to make some money off of blogging. Or a Cosplay model, I like taking pretty pictures ok.
Future type things? Like a I said, in the future I would like to make movies and write books. And college as well, I plan to complete college at University of Texas at Austin with a degree in Filmmaking. After that, I actually really hope I can move to Japan to teach English and write my books and make videos and stuff. It's a ludicrous idea, but its currently my idea for the future. My "idea for the future" changes often, beware.

So that's really all I think of writing right now. I'll write another tiny tid bit about what this blog is about. Do any of you want to know anything else about me? Ask, I can answer you personally because there are so few of us. Radical. Peace Out.
 

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